Don’t Alienate the Kids!: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce

In this tenth anniversary edition of Don’t Alienate the Kids! attorney, mediator, and therapist Bill Eddy shows readers how to protect children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict divorce, boosting their resilience by teaching them to think flexibly, manage their emotions, and moderate their behaviors. We all know breakups can get ugly. But sometimes they can get downright vicious, with badmouthing, brainwashing, and allegations of alienation, child abuse and domestic violence, all leading to nasty custody battles. And when they do, it’s the children who suffer most. During a high-conflict divorce or separation, kids can develop lifelong habits of all-or-nothing thinking, unregulated emotions, and extreme behaviors. Professionals who want to help may unintentionally make things worse, believing everything a parent says or taking sides. No one can solve this problem alone. That’s because the wall of alienation between parent and child is built by: the family’s own patterns of conflict family court professionals who get emotionally “hooked” society’s rapidly escalating culture of blame But there’s hope! Readers can help kids learn flexible thinking, emotion regulation, effective behaviors, and healthy relationships. Everyone involved must work together. This book shows how parents, family members, friends, counselors, lawyers, parenting coordinators, divorce coaches, and family court judges can become part of the solution, giving children a foundation of resilience that will last a lifetime. Bill Eddy is cofounder of the High Conflict Institute and the author or coauthor of thirteen books, including Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life , BIFF , and Splitting .